A note before we start....
No matter what everone has been saying, trust me it's alot harder to GO anywhere (if I wanted to) while The Russells are at work. Everything around here is well...there's nothing around that I can walk to really. And as for 'hitching a ride' with Ben or his mum or someone while they're on their way to work.....It's be out of the way for me to even ask for someone to drop me off at the trainstation. It'd be like asking to be dropped off in Hawthorn to see steven when they're only going as far as Hunnington Beach. It's just a BIT out of the way.
Annie as for the Paris idea--AWESOME. I would do that in a second; however, The only train going to Paris leaves from London and that's another 3 and a half hours to get to...ONCE I get to the nearest metro. Ain't gonna happen.
But thank you everyone for thinking of me and wanting me to have 'fun'. I enjoy living on Home Farm. Sure there's nothing really to do besides work and minor leisure like watching TV or reading a book, but it's nice to just lay back and be vacationy instead of touristy ALL the time.
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SO! Yesterday....continued, really. I'll just skip to the highlighted version:
Ben got home, we watched TV.
There are a whole bunch of tribute things on TV about/for Michael Jackson. (For those of you reading who don't know--yes, Michael Jackson, the King Of Pop has died. Anyway for the past few days Ben has been real synical and scoffing and saying 'who cares?' whenever ANYTHING Michael Jackson related is sown on TV. He can't just ignore it and get on with it--he HAS to say something. Which got quite annoying. At first I just tapped his shoulder and said 'oh stop it', then it escalated to 'If you don't like it, don't watch it then' but he kept on commenting. Finally it got SO annoying that I had to explain to him, "it's fine if you don't like the guy, but obviously some people did because they're airing all these tributes and news storeis so just deal with it. Don't be disrespectful to people who care."
I thought that issue settled. Then he kept being synical and mean like he usually is while watching TV after a long day...but then started cracking jokes in my direction. Even though I know it's all in good fun, my blood boiling from earlier didn't like it. I just got more and more frustrated with him.
He tried to reconcile with trying to kiss me, but I wouldn't let him because he was making me so upset. I even kicked and punched him quite a few times so he'd go away, stop bugging me and just let me sulk. For a while he just kept wrestling with me to try and kiss me, make me feel better, then he finally gave up. We just sat there on opposite sides of the couch sulking.
It got to a point where we weren't speaking to each other at all...all through dinner too it was just awkward tension between him and me while him and his brother talked. After dinner too....we watched more TV...well I did....and he played games on his computer. Finally he looked at his phone (I think he got a text) unplugged his computer and left.
I figured--yeah we had a major fight and I'm still kinda pissed, but mostly sad cause he left and we won't talk about things. So I got up (this is at 10:20 by the way), went to find a jacket, my ipod and put on my shoes and went for a walk.
I went through all my phases--sad/despressed music, then angry 'fuck you/the world' type of music, then into my hip hop 'don't mess with me' music, then by the time I got home half an hour or so later it came around to love/chill out music. I think the walk did my some good. It forced me to clear my head.
When I got back, everyone was in bed or just going to bed. I changed into my Pjs, watched some TV to clear my head even more then wrote Ben a note saying 'I'm sorry. I love you. Please, let's talk in the morning.'
This morning I saw him coming down the stairs as I was walking to the laundry room....we gave each other a hug. I said sorry for being how I was last night and the cheeky bastard said ' you better had' and grinned. I just hugged him again. Hopefully everything can be okay now.
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